i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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