how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
