I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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