We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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