census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
