the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
