college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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