This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
