You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
