I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
