It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize