Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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