Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
