my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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