all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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