Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
