I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
