we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
