youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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