and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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