Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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