You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
