were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
