one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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