Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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