evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
two words...techno handjob
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
