Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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