I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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