I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
