But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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