It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
