It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
What a dumb baby whore.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Is Oprah even human
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
