My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
