So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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