We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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