I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
