I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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