She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
