so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
