I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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