I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Sext me about skeletons
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
