it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
