This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
