i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
