Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
