Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
