I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
