Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
