Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(561): View more from Florida

i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.

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(706): View more from Georgia

Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.

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(214): View more from Texas

After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.

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(330): View more from Ohio

he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?

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(217): View more from Illinois

He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.

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