We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
