I wannas sexs uuuuu
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
