im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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