winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
did i walk over a car last night?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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