You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
