You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
