when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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