I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
