got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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