Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
