At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
