I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
