Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
