She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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