my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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