Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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