what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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