I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
