you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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