I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
be right there i have to get my cape
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
