I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
